


The Long Bright Dark [English Version]

by hieroglyphics



Category: True Detective
Genre: 2002, Alcohol, Angst, F/M, M/M, Memories, Post-Divorce, Teenage Rebellion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 20:45:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15323952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hieroglyphics/pseuds/hieroglyphics
Summary: Marty knew he couldn't help but come back, just trying to catch the shadow of the past, though all was meaningless now.





	The Long Bright Dark [English Version]

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [The Long Bright Dark](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12084597) by [hieroglyphics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hieroglyphics/pseuds/hieroglyphics). 



> Something about Marty around the divorce,2002 and after.  
> Text without beta. Forgive me for all the bad writings and mistakes.

This was Marty's sixth time back here.

He returned home that night and found Maggie waiting for him alone in the dark kitchen. The house was empty, in a dreadful silence. She spoke to him, with a smile of victory and contempt. He watched her lips move, her voice striking his ear drums, calm and clear,but he barely caught what she was saying. He found the girls had been sent to Maggie's parents' beforehand - She told him this morning that they would go to the cinema and damn,he didn't even doubt it. He had never seen her like this before. Her gentleness,her wisdom and elegance, all was gone. For the first time he saw the imprints of years on her face, the cold lines beside her lips showing scorn. That wasn't his wife,just a hurt woman,broken into pieces, but hatred made her strong, cruel and malicious. He couldn't believe she became so horrible — he didn't know which one was the real Maggie, the warm harbor and pillar of his family, or the cold Nemesis of revenge. Fear overwhelmed his anger. She watched him collapse, tasting his pain until satisfied, then picked up her keys and left. He heard the slam of the front door, but still lying on the cold kitchen floor, feeling all his strength was washed away.

What kind of anger and resentment drove her into this - decisively destroyed all her goodness in his heart.

What was more terrifying, he knew it was him who ruined her glory, deteriorated their dreamy marriage into a nightmare.

Maggie had completely become a stranger since that destructive night - so was Audrey, and Maisie, and everything he was familiar with. Like a nightmare he couldn't wake up from. He stepped into a different world, a world exactly the same as the one he was used to, but only he was cursed and exiled.People no longer recognized him and smiled at him any more.

Maggie left him with 24 hours to pack his belongings, then kicked him out as discarding a big piece of junk - she told him she didn't care wherever he went. He began to spend nights at different hotels and houses of friends. For a period of time they only communicated by lawyers. He never saw his girls again, Maggie avoided their meeting. Once in the court, he caught a sight of Audrey and Maisie in Maggie's car, waiting outside in the street. He rushed out but they just looked away, and rolled up the window.

The first time Marty went back to their home was after Maggie applied for a restraining order - he couldn't believe she had done that, but he wasn't too surprised - now she wouldn't let herself be detered by anything. Seeing his car parking in the driveway, she strode out and barred the way of him - _You don't want yourself get arrested right? That'll be fun for all the Homicide._ \- There was anger burning in her eyes. _Hey, you really look nice._ \- Marty only had this in mind - _In the Middle Ages you could be Joan of Arc._ \- he couldn't help but saying. Maggie stared at him in surprise, then let out a laugh - _I'm glad you still have some sense of humour._ \- she crossed her arms and looked at him coldly - _go away, or I'm gonna call the police._

The next several times, Marty didn't approach the house, but looked from a distance under a tree outside a neighbor's yard. After nightfall, he could see them in the window of the kitchen, usually only Maggie and Maisie, having their supper at the table. Audrey didn't show up. She hadn't eaten with them for the last three months, just took the food in her room after they finished, like an elf who stole the milk in the fairy tale book he read for the girls when they were young. They were eating pasta but no Parmesan cheese - he felt a sting in the chest - there was never a Parmesan cheese on their table because he didn't like it. Maisie scratched her nose, seemed to have a cold. Maggie shook her head. They looked easy and relaxed, Tomorrow was Saturday, he thought, Maisie would wait for her cartoon in the morning, and he would sort out his collection of fishhooks in his room while listening to the fishing channel, until Maggie called them to clean their room - and now, Maggie had to deal with the old vacuum alone. He couldn't remember where those fishhooks had gone, there were too many trifles he had forgotten.

He kept lingering there until Maggie and Maisie cleaned up the table then left the kitchen.The light was off, but he still stood there. The watered lawn dampened his shoes, making his feet cold.But he just couldn't leave, as if being anchored in the ground.

A few hours later, the block was all settled down into silence. Marty was sitting under the tree,sleepy. The house is dark and quiet, the only light was in Audrey's window. He was startled when the window opened and Audrey got out. She was barefoot, her hair had been cut short. She took a few steps on the roof and sat down on the ridge of the kitchen. Marty saw a flash of fire, she lit a cigarette - Marty knew she smoked, there was always a faint smell of smoke in her room - but she never smoked in front of the family. She finished one quietly, then hooked out a small bottle from her pocket and took a sip - shit, it looked like a hip flask, Marty wondered where she got it - another sip, until she emptied the bottle. She hugged her legs to her chest and buried her head in the knees, as if exhausted by an invisible burden. It reminded him of that time, when he and Maggie separated years ago, one night Maggie phoned him in panic and said she couldn't find Audrey. He drove back from Rust's in a minute. Finally they found Audrey in Maggie's car. She was the same at that time - dumb and still, curling up like a scared cub. Seeing Marty, she sprung up and grabbed him tightly around his neck - now she wasn't the little girl any more, holding the bottle in hand, but her shoulders trembling, she was crying.

Marty felt an urge to rush out, climb up the roof and hold her in his arms, telling her that dad was here,everything would be alright. He didn't care how many neighbors would be waken, nor did he care whether he would be arrested by his colleagues or not. He couldn't remember when he hugged Audrey last time, maybe two years ago, when she caught a flu and got a high fever. He realized that he never truely understood her, and never had the will to do it -- just think, his little girl was growing up to a young woman he couldn't get to know, something strange and dangerous was tearing her from inside - it frightened him so much that he could hardly face her. He admitted that Maggie was always stronger. He flinched and run away, leaving the family's burden aside, leaving her to bear it alone. Why hadn't he understand it until now - but Audrey had stood up, wipping her face with hands. Her face was as pale as the moonlight. Stepping on the roof, she got back into her window.

_It’s too late, they don't need you anymore, You trapped them. Without you, they will be free._

Icy voice rang in the back of his head, the voice was so familiar,like -

_Rust Cohle. No. No. Go away. Damn it. Never let me think of him._

The fifth time back here, Marty was shocked to find that the whole house was empty.Some workers were doing remodeling. Maggie didn't tell him she had sold the place. Maybe she found out he was spying on them, or maybe she told herself to get rid of everything related to him and erase him from memory. He walked across the lawn, which was neglected and out of trimming for long, his knees shaking, his eyes blurring. The small hut behind the garage was gone - it was built by him before Maisie was born,shortly after they moved into this house - he was so busy that year, Maggie was pregnant, so he almost took on all the decoration work. He remembered that Maggie had done all the painting work herself and Audrey played with the brushes and pigments happily. When the hut was completed, they were all covered with paint. It used to be the rainbow lodge of Audrey and Maisie, when they grew older, it became the kennel of Audrey's dog,Pippi. After Pippi was gone - nephritis or enteritis, he never figured out, and Audrey cried for a week - they never kept pets again. The hut was forgotten by the children, Maggie used it as a storage of mower and gardening tools, though he never understood why he had to spend so much time on a useless patch. 

The fig tree outside the bedroom window, which was planted by Maggie and the girls, was plucked out by the roots, lying pitifully in the dust. It was Maisie who initiated the idea for her biology class. He didn't recall if she told him about it, but when he came home from work that day, the girls ran to him with muddy face, pulling his hands to show him the little seedling proudly. He never expected the tree would grow so fast. The leaves covered the the bedroom's windnow, the branches bent over by heavy fruits.He and Maggie were often waked up by the sounds of the fruits falling on the roof at night.

The front door had been taken down. Automaticall, Marty staggered into the empty living room. Curtains, wallpapers, floor tiles, nothing left. He prefers their old wallpapers - light flowers on the white background. He remembered the time Maggie carefully selected wallpapers in the store, she told him she believed their children would have his blue eyes, and this wallpaper would match with them best - Though Maggie's sister, Angela, and her husband, a state government contractor, showed apparent disdain when they came to their new house. Maggie couldn't stop laughing when Audrey succeeded in splashing a cup of coffee on Angela's shirt. He liked to see Maggie in the lilac skirt, playing flute on the window sill,like a dream in the moonlight. She was a talented player, a star of the university music club, but gradually gave up the hobby after their daughters were born, and the flute was forgotten in the box on the wardrobe. 

They refurbished the house three years ago - this time he and Rust were busy with the "parking lot killer" case, Maggie took on all the work. To be honest, Marty didn't quite like the new style - it reminded him of the house of Maggie's parents. The living room, decorated with small flowers before, had a new look now,it looked like the reception room of the State University. But he knew he had left all the housework to Maggie, so he lost the voice on it - it didn't bother him too much. The same was Maggie's new clothes, new hairstyle, and new perfume. _We can't be cowboy and farm girl forever._ \- she said. He didn't care much about Maggie's appearance - she was impeccable all the time - but he really hoped she would always be his merry girl in a floral shirt, hair braided with wildflowers, laughing and shining in the summer sun, 

The doorposts at the entrance of the kitchen were also painted. There were so many marks on them before - lines long and short ,drawn by different colors. In those years, they used to record Audrey and Maisie's height every three months , sometimes he and Maggie wrote them on the doorpost, sometimes the girls drew them by colored pencils. They liked to make comparison and see who grew faster. Marty still remembered Maisie asked if she would grow taller than him someday when she was five.

Now the lines all disappeared forever.

All was gone. Was everything of the past a dream? He wondered. He never expected one day his life would be the same as Rust's room. Empty.Deserted.

Even Rust had vanished,too.

Blank. Nought.

A few months later,for the sixth time, Marty came back here. Not surprisingly, the house had new dwellers. He sat in his car and watched a man and his kid washing their car in the yard. The smell of supper filled the air.

He knew he couldn't help but come back, just trying to catch the shadow of the past, though all was meaningless now.


End file.
